i actually felt very happy b4 this de..but as usual, my 'wonderful' parents dampened my mood..put me down completely again. wadever manx. i merely wanted to use the net for a while n their ruthless tongues attacked me. argh. bloody hell. the sch wants us to pay $25 for the stupid km system n buying notes oso need $$. so i asked my dad for it. i know he is stressed coz of lack of funds but wa lao eh, he said i was wasting his $. that i shld go n earn my own money. that i'm useless. damn it la. shuddup. my mum even more ruthless, said i'm cheating their $$. shit her la. i got integrity ok? no matter how poor i am i oso wont cheat $$ de. damn pissed with them leh. y r they saying this of me?! i feel damn hurt la. they've nv considered my feelings b4..i'm oso human. y r they treating me even worst than a beast la..wa lao eh.
they say i'm proud so i chose to study in jc. they claimed tt i'm not worried abt my studies n grades. they say i nv try to mug. they dun understand me at all!! argh. they dunno how stressed i am. they dunno how panicky i am. they..ARGH. i dunno wad to say. y are my parents liddat?? y am i so unlucky?! i told my parents tt i needa use the net for assignments. they dun allow me to use. isn't tt hindering my progress? shit u la. if u want the best for me, u wont treat me liddat. u wont treat me inhumanly.
i listen to songs in attempt to destress but ended up getting criticised. i seldom go out de..then today went watch movie oso get barked at. excuse me. i'm not an eight-yr-old kid anymore. would u mind n give me some respect? i cant take this torture anymore. i wanna run away to a place where troubles n unhappiness do not exist.
i really envy those ppl with parents who respect them, who are reasonable n nice. i get scolded all day for nothing. once i get home, i get scolded again. n useless me only knows how to wallow in pity n cry. i dunno wad else i can do!! i feel so sad la..but no one will ever understand how i feel de la. coz they've nv gone thru wadever i've gone thru. only my sis can understand coz she feels exactly the same way. she feels that the place that we live in is merely a house n not a home. it'll nv be. everytime i'm at home they'll either start nagging or reprimanding. pls la. would u guys mind n give me some peace!? i wanna get out of this asap lest i go crazy. argh. i feel so damn helpless. i cant do anything!!
i still rem once my dad stepped on my erhu juz coz he was bloody angry for no reason damn it la. when i asked u if i could buy an erhu of my own, u did not allow me to. so i used my own $ to buy it. so u have no bloody right to step on it. no right at all!! i was so furious tt i nearly wanted to do something outrageous. how are u do any harm to my beloved instru!! tt's y now i dun even dare to bring it home..i really fear for it..-sighs- =(
i'm really v v sad la. i've lost faith in everything alr. disappointed in everything. =(
ok..shall talk abt sth happier to try to cheer up. but dun think it'll be qt effective..today was national day celebrations in sch..our class took care of some child care centre kids..they're all v cute lor..really..i really felt genuinely happy spending time with them manx..i juz love children..their innocence, their cheerfulness..yeah~ thanks for everything..n thanks yanrong for the movie ticket too..
i hope i can smile freely once again..n am really looking fwd to wednesday where we're gg out..away from home..=) -praying for good weather on wed-
|