Tuesday, May 17, 2005
scram u green-eyed monster.. =X sighs..actually i oso dunno y i feel liddat..maybe it's coz of stress? really hope it'll juz be a passing phase..i'm screwed la. havent done anything the whole long weekend. n i feel so lost n aimless..juz coz of..hmmx..sighs..when someone told be there's a possibility of that happening, i felt crushed. oh manx. that feeling juz sucks.
so many things have happened..and i doubt i can ever smile naturally again. the world is so confusing n my mind is whirling. think i'll get a pounding headache soon..-_- i've not been myself lately..so if u see me in sch n smile to me, i'm sorry if my smile seems insincere k? i really dun mean to do it on purpose de..coz i really cant bear to smile freely these days..i'm enclosed n engulfed in my own troubles alr. =X i think my emotions and feelings are terribly erratic..i cant even fathom them myself. help me. but i guess no one will ever understand ba. it's juz too complicated le. =( i can juz suddenly laugh so heartily but the next minute, i'll sink into despair again. manx. i'm beginning to be unable to tolerate myself le. how i wish nothing has happened n this world is a perfect n happy one. unfortunately things have turned out to be the direct opposite. i can no longer conc well in class coz my mind is constantly wandering ard..bonds not strong enough..-_- haha~ it's like when i see ppl laughing happily, i cant help but feel envious of them lor..to think tt i was once like them, carefree n happy.. but those were the good old days le. they'll always form part of my happy memories. thank u my frens for making it possible. =)
actually i oso dunno y i'm writing all these here..maybe i've alr said too much. -haix- i'm praying hard that my uncle will get well soon..n that the docs will try their best to save him instead of juz talking crap n condemning his right to live. manx. was so angry yest when i heard the docs sneered at my aunt la. grr..how can a life-saver ever do tt?! it's juz so absurd n ridiculous lor. -sighs-
anw juz now took formal class photo..haha..qt nice la..as usual, we were creating a din at the atrium..oops~ thanks ppl..=)
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