today's the last day of 2004.. 31st dec 2004..time really flies lor..2004 has been an eventful yr.. lotsa things have happened.. both good n bad..happy n sad.. oh well..i guess some things are juz not meant to be. isn't it strange when this particular grp of frens suddenly include u, welcome u with open arms n suddenly the next minute u feel completely detached from them? suddenly u're not included in their activities n sharing sessions n u have the terrible feeling of being deserted n dumped? well.. i feel trapped maybe it's juz me being overly emotional.. but i cant help it but think tt way. hm.. maybe these ppl are juz not destined to be my close-knitted frens? i dunno.. but i certainly hope it's not tt way. =x wad a sad way to pave the way to 2005 manx..
seeing everyone either slacking, working or doing some other stuff, i feel nothing but envy. i'm supposed to be doing all those stuff at this pt of time too.. but.. oh well.. i brought it upon myself de.. so wad right have i to complain?
my 18th bday was qt a happy one.. but it was oso the day tt the tsunami came.. haix..
so many casualties.. v sad leh.. =X
at this pt of time, i really wanna thank all those true frens who have stood by me thru thick n thin.. shall not mention who they are here.. but if they were true frens, they will know it in their hearts de.. rite? jiu4 ping2 zi4 ji3 de liang2 xin1 ba..=) really love them for who they are.. though they do have their faults.. but again, who doesnt? haha..
honestly i fear the coming of 2005.. i dun want it to come!! i havent done anything this hols la.. haix.. n i got a phobia of exams. holy c0w. wad am i to do?? time is running short..n i have myself to blame for wasting my precious youth.. y am i always not daring enough to do stuff tt i really wanna do? being a coward is indeed frustrating lor..
2005 will be a hectic year.. with the big As.. syf comp.. blah blah.. i think my co skills are deteriorating le..both zhongruan n huqin..sighs..kinda xin1 bu4 zai4 yan1 nowadays.. i oso dunno y... cant conc fully on practising or doing anything.. =X hope i'll be able to accomplish some of my wishes next yr..shall not say them here.. haha.. coz if i say they wont come true rite? =p juz hope everything will be well n everything will be smooth-sailing in the yr to come lor.. have been thinking a lot these few days.. sadly i realised i have many many regrets in my life.. but time is irreversible.. shall juz do my best to try to change things for the better..wad a somber entry for the last entry of the yr.. haha.. oh well.. i think the sunshine n light in my life has gone into hiding le..coz i dun see a bright future in front of me at all.. there's no ray of hope i can see.. i hate this dreadful feeling leh.. it's really sad for any individual to not have any hope.. pathetic even.. guess i'll have to weep for myself then.. i've lost interest in wadever i'm supposed to do coz of lack of hope in my life.. i feel i'm practically like a zombie wasting my time away.. day by day... life goes on kinda aimlessly.. =X hope to change tt in the new yr lor.. wish me luck k? n i wish all of u out there all the best too.. take care ppl.. i shall resolute to be a happy girl in 2005.. n hopefully oso find someone who truly loves me.. haha.. =)
welcome 2005.. bye bye 2004..
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